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Cyberbullying: Take Time Friday to Stop It

Posted on Mar 29 , 2007 in Communication & Thoughts

Friday is Stop Cyberbullying Day. Andy Carvin suggested this day be set aside for thinking about cyberbullying, its impacts and how to stop it dead in its tracks. He offers some suggestions on how you can participate. This whole movement began Monday (March 26) with a posting by Kathy Sierra about how she had become the victim of a vicious round of hate speech. I commented about it, along with a large number of others. In her post about the impacts of cyberbullying on women, Lisa Stone writes:

I have no idea how many women have emailed and telephoned me about attacks via IM, IRC chat, message boards, email and blog comments. These attacks use language that describes detailed rape, dismemberment, profanity and indescribably sick images. The goal? Abuse and humiliation of women.

And women aren't alone. If there is a reason to smack someone upside the head or degrade them for believing in something, standing up for something, or just being something, there's a cyberbully waiting to go beyond flaming to inflict some real pain.

Robert Scoble told the Los Angeles Times that he opposes more restrictions on free speech - presumably because we don't need Big Brother cutting the legs out from under the First Amendment. Agreed. But we do have a responsibility to police ourselves by not tolerating hate speech, cutting off access to those who insist on participating in it, and report it when we see it.

I'm not saying stop all disagreements, arguments and impassioned manifestos: just do it with a little civility, respecting the rights of others to feel, say or demonstrate their opinion. Whether they agree or disagree with you. And whether or not they wish to participate in the discussion.

As I write this post Thursday afternoon, Kathy Sierra has closed comments to her March 26 post after someone posted her Social Security Number and home address. Makes you wonder, with all of the attention, why any individual would still be motivated to bully Kathy.

  • Maria

    I really enjoy your blog and admire your motivation to make blogging more civil and “communicative” rather than abusive and hurtful. I myself have experienced online abuse when I posted a thread on a legal advice forum asking a question related to family law in California. Rather than getting an advice my family and I were judged in a way that hurt me deeply. Needless to say it was a horrible experience and I would like to do all I can to help stop cyberbullying.

    Blogging is a way to exercise our freedom of speech and expression but this right is abused way too often.

  • http://www.ask-mr.info Michael Sommermeyer

    When I first went to work at a university, and found the Internet in 1992, Usenet was a popular place to throw zingers at one another. It was pretty common for the name calling to get to a ribald level approaching hazing and bullying.

    And some of that still exists, obviously. Some would say ‘get a thick skin’ or ‘shake it off,’ but it’s hard to do that when you feel like you’re under attack for an innocent comment, or in your case, a simple request.

    The Internet allows us to be anonymous. You can hide behind your screen and flay away, flaming and snorking to your heart’s content.

    That’s why I like IM’s like Twitter. Aside from the occasional picture of a bird (Robert Scobel) or a logo (MetroBlogging), there are pictures showing you who you’re talking with. That’s a real human you’re interacting with and they may just have a few feelings. It’s easier to be emphatic and less sarcastic (or mean) when you think you might meet that person on the train into work the next morning.

  • http://www.aflux.net Anna

    I wish that Cyberbullying was a new occurrence and that this sudden interest would flare up, motivate people, and push the anonymous flamers off the internet… but I have my doubts.

    I have a bully that’s taken to posting mine and my 8 year old daughter’s pictures on his forum under a thread labeled “Ugly People” and “Ugly Kids of the Internet”. It’s disgusting and disturbing since I’ve removed the images of my daughter (he was direct linking them) and he’s now hosting the same pictures on his server and has put them back up. This means that he had her pictures STORED on his computer.

    Along with the pictures is blatant lies meant to upset and cause unnecessary drama. It’s a clear violation of his states cyberstalking laws and I’ve contacted his ISP, which did nothing. I’ve really considered contacting my free legal aid through work to have some kind of cease and desist order sent to him but I wonder if it’s even worth it. He does this to A LOT of single mothers and almost all of them react publicly. I refuse to do that. I refuse to play into this guy’s sick fantasy and give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’s “gotten to me”.

    So part of me feels like it’s my ‘duty’ to do something. Unlike the single mother’s I have the resources to fight him but I know that, like happened with Kathy, it will just fan his flames even more.

    Anyway, sorry for posting such a long rant. I’ll post something tomorrow to support the day for sure, I just hope that all this reaction to it happening to a well known blogger will get the ball rolling and bring about a change that a lot of us have been hoping for.

  • http://www.ask-mr.info Michael Sommermeyer

    I worry a lot about being too personal, but social media requires a large amount of trust. However, we still expect some courtesy and respect.

    Anna, the situation you describe is clearly bordering on criminal. I wouldn’t hesitate to contact someone about it.

    I agree that it’s unfortunate that it takes a high profile event to bring a topic to the top of the heap, but perhaps this will result in more action that will benefit everyone.